Channy’s Karao-Courtesies
(A Karz Publication)
1. Don’t ask the KJ to start the song over. If you miss the first line, just come
in on the second. No one will care. Also, if you discover that you have ordered up the wrong song (say, Marvin Gaye’s
“What’s Going On?” when you wanted the 4 Non-Blondes’ “What’s Up?”), you’d
better just fake it, because you’re not getting a do-over.
2. Don’t hang out on the back deck until
your name’s called. Hey, I’m sure it really is all about you, but could you at least pretend to care about the
other singers?
3. Don’t scream into the mic. As you pack your lungs with oxygen for the jungle yell on “Immigrant
Song,” back that puppy up a couple inches. You’ll save everyone a lot of pain.
4. Don’t get
falling-down drunk. Remember how great you were, singing “Bohemian Rhapsody” after six tequila poppers? Neither
does anybody else.
5. Don’t hassle the KJ. It’s hard enough keeping all those raging egos in check
without you coming up to (@$%&#!) about the lack of
Neil Diamond selections. KJs are the sacred priests of music – treat them accordingly.
6. Do not horn in.
Perhaps your backing vocal to “Sex and Candy” really is God’s gift to harmonics, but you pick up that second
mic without prior permission and you will die a terrible death. (This is not to discourage a planned harmony jam, which can
be a beautiful thing.)
7. Don’t milk the applause. Even if you deserve it – especially if you deserve
it – nothing looks cooler than a humble “thanks” and a quick departure. If you are offered a high-five,
however, slap away. Also, if you have just performed an Elvis tune, you are required by law to mumble “Thankyouvermuch.”
8. Do not change your song selection within three singers of your turn, unless you’re willing to add substantially
to the tip jar.
9. Try to avoid singing a song that has already been performed that evening. If you sing it badly,
your effort will look that much worse in comparison. If you sing it well, you will appear to be showing up your predecessor,
who will then be entitled to throw a baseball at your head in the following inning.
